July 2022

Dear Dad,

Five years ago, I started writing you letters with no intention of ever sending them. These letters were never meant to be read by anyone, in fact I didn’t think I would ever be re-reading them years later.

However, as these letters resurface I am reminded of the unexpected power they had.

During a particularly challenging time after your diagnosis a therapist I was seeing suggested I begin writing letters to you, letters that you would never read. I initially disregarded this as a silly exercise, but as I began writing the emotions and thoughts came pouring out. It was so easy to put into words exactly how I was feeling and exactly what I wanted to tell you. There was no hesitation or guilt in my words because I knew you would never read these letters.

I wrote these letters to tell you all the things I need you to know, all the things that I could never say to you. These deeply personal thoughts serve as a reminder of how far we have both come in this journey.

I look back on these letters and I am transported to a time in my life when everything seemed unfair and overwhelming.